When Carlie Burdett was hospitalized with pneumonia in 2019, no one expected her to die.
“But she was convinced that she was dying, which was really interesting because medically, we didn’t really see a huge reason why she would be dying,” her daughter Dorie Burdett Pickle said.
Carlie Burdett was a classical pianist and composer. She loved birds and wrote a whole series of songs about them. She loved to learn and was a spiritual person — devoting a lot of her time to her church.
But what she saw at the end of her life was unexpected to her family.
“She started telling me all these dreams and thoughts and visions she was having,” Pickle said. “And she said, ‘Do you know how you can see shapes in the clouds?’ And of course, yes. You know, you look up and there might be something looks like a goat or a unicorn or whatever. And she said, ‘that’s the same skill I’m using right now to see this.’”
Pickle said she was trying to communicate that creativity and imagination are key to us understanding where we are, who we are, or why we’re here.
“And of course, all of these things were huge life and death sort of conversations and lessons being interrupted by, you know, blood draws and vital signs and doctor visits and discussions of dialysis or whatever was going to happen. I was just taking notes,” Pickle said.
At one point, Pickle recalled telling her mom that they should pause their conversation so that her mom could eat lunch.
“And she said, ‘We really don’t have time for that.’ And I was just like, ‘okay, whatever you say,’ you know? And sure enough, it was about 48 hours later that she passed away. And it was completely shocking to us in a lot of regards. But to her, it was this thing that she knew was happening and knew was coming and was trying to relay her whole experience to us,” Pickle said.
What she said as she was “standing at death’s door” provided Pickle a lot of comfort as she processed her mom’s death.
“She described this kind of ongoing, infinite growing funnel, kind of like a tornadic shape that we’re all a part of kind of going through our journey as we progress upward,” Pickle said.
“And she said there were four distinct sections, the physical realm at the bottom where we all are. And then the realm of knowledge and then the realm of spirit. And then the final realm, she said there was not a word to capture what it was. It was not something that could be described in a language that we would understand.”
Pickle said her mom was very aware and engaged — and not scared.
“She seemed enticed by [death] and she wanted to enter this other realm that was welcoming her,” Pickle said. “And she said at the very end, you can see all of it and I can see all of it. And there’s nothing to be afraid of.”
Pickle said her mom made her promise to write what she was telling her in a book.
“And I said, ‘Actually, Mom, you can write it when you get out of the hospital and you can write songs about it and you write poetry about it, and it can be this whole next chapter of your life.’ And I remember she looked at me very clearly and said, ‘No, I won’t be here. You have to write it,’” Pickle said.
It took five years, but Pickle fulfilled her promise. “Dawn: A Fresh Perspective on Life, Death and the Other Side” expresses what Carlie Burdett was experiencing as she died.
“That this whole fear we have as a culture of death and dying and grief is not necessary, that it’s not to be feared,” Pickle said.
Pickle still grieves her mother’s death but finds a lot of hope in what her mom shared with her before she died. Along with the book, Pickle has organized an event to raise money for arts, music and nature therapy groups.
